Love’s such a delicate thing that we do
With nothing to prove
Which I never knew
My friend Connor was one of the most intelligent human beings that I met. His humour was impeccable. One of his most profound insights was on the nature of blogging (esp. on Twitter) – which he once framed as a more sophisticated form of venting. You get it out, and it gives you a quick sense of release. So, here we go..
In one of my last posts, I shared quite some substantial reflections on loneliness and connection. For this, I got a lot of positive feedback, which just proves to me how fundamental the topic is to my generation. Ever since I wrote the post, I’ve been tying to make some small but intentional changes to my life. I now try to put myself out there more, and seek out small, cheerful conversations with strangers wherever I go. Why would this matter?
Admittedly, maybe, it doesn’t at all. But I realised recently how much and deeply I care for my surroundings.
Travelling back from seeing Connor, there was this young boy on the bus in London who seemingly just wanted to get to school, early in the morning, carrying a backpack. Yet, he had forgotten his ticket, and wasn’t able to pay. The boy clearly was in quite some distress, but the bus driver and none of the other passengers really took much notice or showed care. Until someone walked up from the back of the bus to pay for the boy with his own credit card… And, why would you not? It’s only £2!!!
On another occasion, recently, I was listening to a profound speech about the state of world affairs, also in London. Most of the other attendees in the room quickly switched back to small talk, networking, thinking about themselves more than anyone else. I was taken aback. And in tears. (Who again said men don’t cry?)
And, how could one not feel moved by the current state of world politics? Never before, in decades, have fundamental freedoms been at such a low. We’re headed for climate disaster, and arguably already are in the midst of another world war. These concerns are, arguably, shared worldwide. I keep hearing from so many friends, be it in the US, Asia or Europe, that they avoid any news, over entering a state of depression over it.
Wherever one goes these days, adverts for war cannot be evaded. It’s not so much about the need for military but rather the language and normalisation that goes with it.
The reason why I seek the connection with strangers is because I believe that it’s a thing that has gone missing. Caring about those I don’t know. Or that you don’t know. But without it, there cannot be a functioning society that is based on principles of solidarity and compassion.
More broadly, me seeking connection with strangers is about empathy with the state of the world, at a time where a feeling of helplessness is turning into apathy. Yet, this is the breeding ground for anyone who wishes to frame society as a zero-sum game, and the consequential dehumanisation of some of its members – and potential catastrophe and genocide. Timothy Snyder’s “On Freedom” is a brilliant read to that end.
We can make out of the past of European in destruction and Christianity what you will but it’s what made our post-war founding fathers humble, and embrace solidarity for other members of society. Rich and poor. Healthy and ill. Immigrant or not. Where has this gone?
Let’s try to be humble again. Not to look away. And to assume the best in one another unless proven otherwise.